You're not a quitter, you're reinventing yourself. Changing the narrative around quitting your business.

Ever felt like a quitter just because you changed your career path or switched your business focus? It's time we view these transformations not as acts of surrender but as brave steps towards reinventing ourselves. Just like Madonna, who is celebrated every time she reinvents her image, we need to shed the negative connotations associated with change and embrace it as a powerful push forward.

Drawing from my own personal experiences, in this episode I reflect on the liberation that comes from releasing what no longer serves you and making room for new growth. Don't miss this transformative discussion that promises to reshape your views on change and inspires you to welcome the process of reinvention.

(And yes that ☝🏼 was written with the help of AI)

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey everyone, welcome back to How It's Really Going with Shayna Rekker. It's been a little while since I've recorded an episode for you all. This particular topic has been on my mind for a few weeks now and I just haven't been able to sit down and record it, and today I had a little extra pocket of time open up. And so here we are, and it's a really important topic, and I'm just going to give you a little of the backstory on how this came up for me and then we'll just dive into it. So a few weeks ago three or four weeks ago I was doing a Peloton workout and the particular workout I was doing that day was a themed workout based around Madonna, which was all the music on that particular workout was Madonna music And the instructor who was running the workout was talking about how Madonna has done such a great job of reinventing herself over the years.

Speaker 1: 0:53

In the 80s she was like pop art and then she's also done some like a little bit of country sort of mix in her music. She's done like electric music, she's done like all kinds of different things and she's even physically reinvented herself over the years with her looks and things like that, and they were talking about how awesome it was that she had done that, and what hit me was I was like, yeah, that is so cool that she's been able to do that. But why is it that when we look at someone like Madonna and when she changes gears, when she goes from doing the pop music in the 80s and then switches into the electronic kind of style music or whatever that we look at that as like, wow, that's amazing, she's reinvented herself. But as entrepreneurs, when we start something and let's say we're doing this thing, that we're doing like whether it's coaching or we've started a business selling widgets or whatever it is When we do it for so long, and then let's say we either start losing interest or, for some reason, we just feel like it's not working. When we want to change gears, it feels like like I don't know about you, but in and for me I just recently went through this as I left coaching and switched gears It feels like we're quitters, it feels like we're giving up, it feels almost like it has a negative energy to it And why, you know like this is, this is the thing. And so when he was talking about Madonna reinventing herself, i was like you know what That's really what we're doing.

Speaker 1: 2:20

Like you know, when I went through this last, you know, six months, eight months of my life thinking about, you know, leaving coaching, and you know I just wasn't feeling it was for me Yes, partly was because I was, you know, struggling a little bit to make it work, part of it was because I just didn't love, you know, having to market myself on social media And part of it was just because I was just feeling like I was done and I was ready for a change. And so you know the feelings that come up around that, that came up for me around that was like, oh my gosh, am I quitting? You know, like people always say don't quit before payday and shit like that, and it's like am I giving up too soon? Did I give this enough? Like you know. And we start to go through this whole like thing in our mind that we feel like this negative energy around, like, oh, if I do this, i'm a quitter. And what if it is just that we're done with that thing? What if it's just time for a change? What if it's time for us to just reinvent ourselves into something else? And we're not quitting, it's just we are done with that phase and we are ready to move into a different, you know, phase in our life, just like Madonna does over and over and over again in her life. And so I just I really don't know how else to sort of say this besides sort of what's coming through right now, because I just keep getting this strong feeling of wanting to talk about this, because I know so many people who have started different businesses over the years, because, as I've been an entrepreneur since way back in 2010,.

Speaker 1: 3:48

Because here's the thing in the network marketing industry, this is also relevant. How many times do people join network marketing teams and then they leave and everybody's like, oh, don't quit, don't be a quitter. This is a thing you got to. Give it your all. You're a lifer, all these things that we're told that we're supposed to do. But what if we do those things and it's great for a while, but then it doesn't feel good anymore or just doesn't feel like something you want to do.

Speaker 1: 4:13

Why can't it be looked at as reinventing ourselves into our next phase of our lives versus being a quitter? I just think we have to re What's the word. We have to rejig, basically what it means to switch gears in your life and not look at it from a standpoint of that you don't have staying power and that you're a quitter and all that kind of stuff, and look at it from a standpoint of it's just time for you to move into your next level. It's time for you to reinvent yourself. When I heard him say that, it just really made me feel. When I was thinking about Madonna, i'm saying isn't it amazing how she reinvented herself into all these different things?

Speaker 1: 4:56

for this phase that I'm in right now, where I'm in literally in the middle of reinventing myself, i have no idea exactly what it looks like, but what I did know was what I didn't want in my life, what I did, what I could feel was the things that didn't feel good for me anymore, or the things that just didn't feel like they were working for me anymore. The process of reinventing yourself isn't something like all of a sudden you just go oh, i don't want to do this anymore, i want to do this, and you know exactly what you're doing. That's not how it is for me right now. For me, it's like I know I don't want to do this anymore. I'm not 100% sure what it is that I want to do? going forward, like sure, there's some ideas and there's some things that I'm really enjoying right now, but what does that look like from a career standpoint or whatever? I don't know, like I don't know Right now.

Speaker 1: 5:44

I've got multiple different jobs that I'm doing. I work in the salon part-time. I do websites part-time. I'm doing art part-time. I'm managing a couple of my clients' social media accounts part-time. I have my hands in multiple different things because I don't really know what my next reinvention is going to be. To be honest, i'm not putting any pressure on myself to try and figure it out. I'm just doing what feels good in the moment and just sort of letting it unfold.

Speaker 1: 6:12

I think that's another part of this whole thing that I'm talking about is that sometimes we commit to things and we invest in things and we're told like you got to give it enough time and all stuff. I do believe that. I do believe that there is a difference between if you love something and you're doing it and you love it, and maybe it's not working just yet, but you still love it, but you're not seeing the results you want, then give it more time. I always think that it's about the way you feel about the thing? Because I've had people come to me you guys. I've had lots of people, lots of conversations with people who've come to me and said I've seen that you're switching gears and that you're leaving coaching. I think that's amazing. How did you know that this was right for you? I've been thinking about this too, if I should leave this thing that I'm doing, but I'm not really sure. My answer to that is how do you feel about the work that you're doing? If you're loving the work that you're doing, if you're loving everything about it, but maybe you're just not getting the results right now, then I would say that that's a sign that you want to keep going and you want to keep moving forward, because it's the feeling For me.

Speaker 1: 7:24

I loved working with my clients, but I didn't love marketing myself as a coach. I was starting to get weird feelings about the coaching industry. There were just too many little, i would say, red flag feelings that I was having that was telling me that it was time to switch gears. I wasn't loving the process of building that business like I used to when I first started it. For me, that was a really strong indication that it was time for me to reinvent myself, much like I did. I went from being a graphic designer and corporate, reinvented myself into a network marketer, reinvented myself into an online coach.

Speaker 1: 8:03

Now I don't know where my next reinvention is going. Right now it feels like art and stuff, but I'm also enjoying doing this digital work for my clients and building websites. It's also fun. I'm trying not to put too much pressure on myself to figure it all out and just allow things to unfold and see where they go. And the funny thing is is that in doing that, i was really struggling in my coaching business for the last six months. Before like the six months prior to just kind of shutting it all down, i was struggling financially in that business And since making the decision to close that down and just do this part-time job at the salon and just sort of play with doing websites for people and just sort of figuring it out, i've actually earned more income in the last three months, just sort of surrendering to what's coming in front of me and doing these odd sort of jobs. Then I did in the past six months of coaching And I don't think that that is just a coincidence.

Speaker 1: 9:02

I think that that is because I released some restrictive energy or I released some sort of heavy, tight energy that I was carrying as a coach. I released that and it was the right thing for me, even though I didn't have all the answers, and it made space for other things to come through. I don't I mean, i'm not super-duper, total energetic law of attraction, any kind of person I used to be. There's a lot of things that I doubt about that industry but or about that sort of methodology, i guess you could say. But I do believe in and I believe this because I've experienced this multiple times in the energy of releasing what's not serving you to allow for more of what does serve you, to come in And like energetically and I'm certain that's what happened And instead of looking at releasing coaching as me quitting the coaching industry because I guarantee you, there's a lot of people out there who looked at what I'm doing and said, oh, she's quitting.

Speaker 1: 10:04

It got too hard, she couldn't do it, so she's quitting, she's giving up too soon, she didn't, you know, whatever. There's a million and one things I can ensure. People are saying about it, but at the same time, it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks it's time for me, like I'm looking, i'm going inward and going. Is this right for me? It doesn't feel right for me anymore, so it's time for me to let it go and figure out what's next and not worry about what anyone else is thinking. And you know, with that being said, one of the coaches I used to work with and I've seen other coaches do this as well, business coaches is they talk about the longevity of sticking with it and staying.

Speaker 1: 10:43

You know staying in it and you know taking radical responsibility for your business and never quitting and not giving up. And that's the only way to succeed in all that kind of language. And the only person that language serves is the person who's getting paid to be the business coach, because that kind of language around the coaching industry is making people feel bad for wanting to make changes or leave a coaching space. And it serves the coach because they're programming you to never give up, to always stick with it, so that you can continue paying for them and their services, and that you know. And so, to be honest, I think that that language is actually damaging, because there are people out there who aren't feeling it anymore, who don't want to do this anymore, who've given it their all, but it doesn't feel good, it doesn't feel right And maybe they're ready to try something else and reinvent themselves.

Speaker 1: 11:37

And instead of saying, hey, listen, if it's not working for you, you've got to do what's right for you, people are like, oh well, you're giving up, you're quitting, you're all these things. And I don't believe that to be true. I believe that we know, like I said, it's a gut feeling that you know when it's time for something else, when it's time for a change, and we have to change the narrative around that. You know it's one thing to say if you love something and it's just maybe not working yet, that's you know. If you love it and you don't want to give up on it, that feeling is like, okay, we'll keep going, keep trying. But if you know in your gut that you are done with something, i'm telling you you've got to listen to that. If you don't listen to it, it will keep nattering at you until you do listen to it. Because that's really what happened with me.

Speaker 1: 12:22

I probably started thinking about leaving coaching about six to eight months before I actually did it And instead I kept trying to push, i kept trying to hang in there, i kept trying to take radical responsibility and leadership in my business and really turn things around for myself. But I knew in the back of my gut that I was getting to the point where I was done with it And that I forced it, which is probably what created the issues in my business, because I was trying to force something that just wasn't working for me anymore, and the minute that I released it, i like everything started changing for me. And so you have to just really trust your gut and trust your instincts around what's right for you, and don't let anyone your coach or anybody, your family, nobody tell you that you're a quitter because you're giving up on something that just is no longer serving you. You're not quitting. You're reinventing yourself into the next level of whatever that is for you, and don't feel like you have to have the answer Yes, you probably will have to do something intermediate, like I did. Like I took a part-time job and just started shifting the way that I was marketing myself instead of being a business coach. Now I can do your website for you kind of thing, but so you might have to do something in the interim while you're figuring it out, and there's no shame in that. No stories Like if you need to get a job or do whatever. You do it.

Speaker 1: 13:54

And while you're in that surrender I call it the surrender, like the surrender space, and you just surrender to what's coming up for you and what's coming to you, you'll figure it out, you'll get the answers you need and you have to trust in that. There's a really great book by Michael Singer called The Surrender Experiment and it's an incredible book. It's his story about how he surrendered to some of the things that were coming to him and how it completely shifted his life. And I think about that book often in the space that I'm in right now, because there are things that are coming to me where old me or me six months ago would have been like, no, i'm not gonna do that, i'm not interested in that. And now I'm like you know what? Sure, let's give it a shot. And I'm trying things and I'm experimenting and I'm seeing what feels good and what feels right.

Speaker 1: 14:43

And if something doesn't feel right anymore, it's time to release it and let it go and just trust in the process. And you're not a quitter, you're not giving up and you are not any of those things You have to do. What's right for you Always, and first and foremost is always what's right for you. Make your decisions around that gut feeling and don't let anyone tell you or make you feel anything other than you're doing what's right for you. And if anybody else has an opinion on that, that's their opinion and it's not your business kind of thing. Because if Madonna can reinvent herself over and over again, we can reinvent ourselves. And nobody calls Madonna a quitter because she stopped doing pop music like she did in the 80s. You know she was just doing what she felt was, you know, fun and good for her in that time. So the same can go for you. So that's what I wanted to say. I'm sure there's a lot more that could be said on this topic, but the main thing is is that we are allowed to reinvent ourselves. You are not quitting if you are done with something in your life. You are just releasing what's no longer working and reinventing yourself into whatever's next. And if you don't know what is next, just surrender to what feels good in the moment and see what happens. And I know that's worked really well for me.

Speaker 1: 16:03

It's not, i will say it's not been easy, because your ego will get in the way in some of these things, you know, when you go from, you know, as an identity, as an online coach, or you know, i remember I went through this really when I was in network marketing. You know, leaving network marketing was a huge ego below for me, because it was like I was a very successful network marketer, i was known in that space, you know. And when it's when you wanna leave something, even when it's successful because I left that business when it was successful, It wasn't that it was struggling, it was just it wasn't for me anymore My ego had struggled because it was like my identity was attached to being a network marketer. And when it was time for me to leave, i did struggle a little bit with kind of who was I? you know? and that's when I started as an online coach and had to kind of work through that.

Speaker 1: 16:56

And so you might have some of those egoic struggles of going from, hey, i'm this and now I'm doing this, like it doesn't feel right, in the sense that your ego's like, wait, you're taking a job at a salon, you've never been a receptionist before, why would you do that? But in my gut it was kind of like no, do it, it's gonna be fun, let's just see what happens, and so I just followed my gut, not my ego, and if you can do that, it will really help lead you to some. I believe it'll lead you to some fun and interesting things in your life. But that's what I wanted to share, just a quickie for you guys.

Speaker 1: 17:29

But if you are in that space of feeling like you're ready for a change, but you maybe feel like you might be quote unquote quitting on something, just change that narrative. You're not quitting, you're just reinventing yourself into the next level of you, whatever that looks like, and the only person at the end of the day that really you need to care about what they think about what you're doing is you, nobody else. So make those decisions from that gut place and don't worry about what everybody else thinks. I've really learned to let go of a lot of that as I get older, but it is something that we just have to let go of and we just have to trust our guts, cause the last thing you wanna do is look back at the end of your life and regret not making the changes or not doing the things that you really wanted to do, and we only get one shot at this.

Speaker 1: 18:16

So, anyways, that's my two cents for today. Hopefully, i'll have some more episodes for you sooner than later, but I just try to do these on the side when I can and when I have something just relevant to say. So, all right, that's it for me, guys. I hope you are well. We'll talk to you soon. Bye for now.